It started as a bit of fun on twitter between like minded individuals interested in the submissive side of BDSM, but it's growing into a network of support and friendship.

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We often joke about our Mistress's finding out we are 'becoming organised' and that we should really be a secret order of not-a-union-of-subs.

What our union really is though, is a place where our small band of misfits can come together and feel accepted. There is plenty of stigma and misinformation out there where BDSM is concerned, so it is with good reason that many do not openly share their enjoyment of it.

My own journey started after half a lifetime of being scared to admit that there were things about BDSM I had always been drawn to. It was a journey that started online, where I suspect most people now start.

This is a far cry from the back page ad's of yesteryear and a lot more information is readily accessible. Sex worker professionals these days have many ways in which to get their content and info out there.

As part of my research, trying to figure out how to take that first step, I would check the websites and any other online profiles where the providers in my area might be listed. Often they had links to their social media accounts so I would check there too.

And there I was, just one of the masses. The silent lurkers taking it all in, trying to make sense of it all.

The time wasn't wasted though. I learned a lot, especially about how not to go about things. I began to see what irritated the professionals, what they liked from clients and what they didn't.

I began to get to know some of their clients too through their social media interactions. It gave me confidence. They seemed pretty normal for the most part but with more interesting hobbies than me.

I finally reached the point where I thought "why not me?" and made the transition from lurker to client, then tentatively began interacting myself on social media.

It was then that something I really hadn't expected to happen, happened. I began to chat with other clients, other subs. As we got to know each other, we would joke and banter, share stories or useful little bits of info. Before I quite understood it, I was accepted as part of a group of subs from far and wide sharing the highs and lows of each others secret kinky lives. a union of subs!

Shhhh... just don't tell our Mistresses!

grayscale photo of woman doing silent hand sign
Photo by Kristina Flour / Unsplash